Favorite copypastas.

Long-Time Nuclear Waste Warning Message

This place is a message…and part of a system of messages…pay attention to it!

Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be powerful culture.

This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here…nothing valued is here.

What is here was dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.

The danger is in a particular location…it increases towards a center…the center of danger is here…of a particular size and shape, and below us.

The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.

The danger is to the body, and it can kill.

The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.

The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

busy boss business

from drive45 video

i'm such a busy boss i am always up to some no good busy boss business you probably think you're just like me but you're not you're a baby but but but but but i'm but i'm not a baby yes you are a barfing blanky bandit boo-boo band-aid baby bowling with the bumpers on and babies do not have big buck bank accounts because babies are bach baroque but i can fix you because i'm the best oh you don't believe me? well lets run some tests every day i x-ray hey ct are you by chance in your office the basement you mean the basement sweet uh hey i dont know if you know but there should be a x-ray breaker box in there do you have any idea what i'm talking about yeah very cool there should be a lever on that box and i just need you to pull that lever crank the lever or the crank? no pull the lever comma crank yeah but like you're crank pull my crank? crank what? lever should be on the bottom yup got it bye OOUGH come on give it give it here these are some great insights my boss level location you'll see here its at my eyeballs take a look for yourself wow thats great it really does beg the question or rather you're begging for an answer where did all of this come from? well that's why i'm here today to tell you that it didn't start in my balls up here in my eyes it started in my balls down here on my feet yup that's right scientists finally figured it out and the installation procedure it's so simple so dont even worry about it because everyone knows if you wanna get busy then you gotta get the ball rolling and if these balls aren't rolling then i'm take tolling and hey can we take a break okay can i have a hot drink coffee? no tea? no i could get some water from the bathroom sink and then put it in the microwave now that's a thought oh but then soak something in it that's good and also good for me and i'll see if i can guess what you soaked in it why dont you just soak your foot balls in it? what? i dont play football i play computer i know computer qwerty okay let's do it again can i do your part this time and you be the boss no

"No, you're NOT a real gamer."

No, you’re NOT a real gamer.

I’m so sick of all these people that think they’re gamers. No, you’re not. Most of you are not even close to being gamers. I see these people saying “I put well over 100 hours in this game, it’s great!” that’s nothing, most of us can easily put 300+ hours in all our games. I see people who only have a Nintendo Switch and claim to be gamers. Come talk to me when you pick up a PS4 controller then we be friends.

Also DEAR ALL WOMEN: Pokémon is not a real game. Animal Crossing is not a real game. The Sims is not a real game. Mario is not a real game. Stardew valley is not a real game. Mobile games are NOT.REAL.GAMES. put down the baby games and play something that requires challenge and skill for once.

Sincerely, all of the ACTUAL gamers.

Complimentary video

Wevali's Monologue from Bweathe of the Wild

Impwessive, I know. Vewy few can achieve a mastewy of the sky. Yet I have made an awt of cweating an updwaft that awwows me to soaw. It's considewed to be quite the mastewpiece of aewiaw techniques, even among the Wito. With pwopew utiwization of my supewiow skiwws, I see no weason why we couwdn't easiwy dispense with Ganon. Now then, my abiwity to expwowe the fiwmament is cewtainwy of note... But wet's not—pawdon me fow being so bwunt— Wet's not fowget the fact that I am the most skiwwed awchew of aww the Wito. Yet despite these twuths, it seems that I have been tapped to mewewy assist you. Aww because you happen to have that wittwe dawkness-seawing swowd on youw back. I mean, it's just...asinine. Unwess...you think you can pwove me wwong? Maybe we shouwd just settwe this one on one? But whewe...? Oh, I know! How about up thewe?! Oh, you must pawdon me. I fowgot you have no way of making it up to that Divine Beast on youw own! Good wuck seawing the dawkness!

Asa's monologue from ChainsawMan

He must have forgotten. Not that I care.

I mean, I was only going on this date to warn him to stay away from me anyway. I didn’t want to spend that much on dating. Plus, I wanted to do my schoolwork. In fact, you know what? I’m glad he forgot.

I’ll admit to feeling the slightest human desire for human touch for a moment there but that only happened because I was confined in a small space with a member of the opposite sex for an extended period of time. It was the hormones kicking in. At the end of the day, my priority is to beat Chainsaw Man and get my body back. There’s no reason for me to be so stuck up on Denji. Actually, I prefer solitude. I’ll have an easier time attaining my own personal happiness without him, you know?