Reviews of Movies 2022

For anyone curious, I really like movies. A lot. And I also don't trust the Oscars (too many biases), but you can trust me and my opinion on movies. Trust me and my biases.

Without further ado, I'm going to talk about the movies we watched in 2022 and what I thought of them.

Top Gun Maverick: Couldn't remember all the movies, so I clicked the link towards Rotten Tomatoes' Best Movies 2022, and Top Gun Maverick was their Top choice. I think the critics might be biased towards their youthful days. As one who did not grow up on Top Gun, I found the movie very boring with its Star Wars-esque plot and its nostalgia milking. It did, however, feel very much like an 80s movie. If you like Top Gun, you will probably enjoy Top Gun Maverick. If you don't, then maybe don't watch this movie.

Everything Everywhere All At Once: I think this is the top movie of 2022, despite not having 'top' in its name like the aforementioned Top Gun. This movie is like nothing I've ever seen before- for the first time in a while, I couldn't tell what would happen next, and I wanted to keep watching to know. It was a very fresh twist on the multiverse concept. What made its complicated idea work was having a very simple plot about a mother-daughter relationship.

Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness. You shouldn't watch this movie after watching Everything Everywhere All At Once. It's very disappointing if you do. The multiverse they explore are the variants of seasonal changes of New York, and the only madness is the bad CGi and a plot that forgets Wanda's character arc in her show. One time, a character shows Strange and the audience how her parents die by a random multiverse-special storefront that just so happens to show the person's memories of that one traumatic time. Sam Raimi, the director, who is known for the original Spiderman Trilogy and horror movies, really does put some spice in the movie by having violent death scenes and scary Wanda chasing. It doesn't feel like a Marvel movie: whatever magical tone Marvel has is gone now.

Thor: Love and Thunder. I'm getting this out of the way too. Basically, Marvel movies aren't too enjoyable now. Especially when the trailers lie to us. In Doctor Strange, the trailers said we're getting the multiverse, and it's pretty mad. In Thor, the trailers said we're getting Thor and he's hanging with the Guardians of The Galaxy- epic, right? Wrong. They're just there for a short time... It just wasn't a fun movie, and the only reason I've liked Marvel was for a fun time.

The Batman. Hey speaking of superheroes, you know who could do a multiverse of reboots as much as Spiderman can? Batman. The Batman. A movie so dark you can't see too well, this time instead of a Joker he's going after a twitch streamer. Jokes aside, I haven't seen many Batman movies to compare this one to. I'm glad they finally got a real vampire to be emo Batman. It's a detective movie. Can't really think of anything else to say... I don't think I'd want to watch it again, but I have seen it twice.

Morbius: didn't see this film but I heard it was really, really, really good. One of the best superhero movies.

See How They Run: Enough about superheroes, let's talk about detective movies! Murder mysteries! I love this genre, especially in book form. See How They Run wants you to remember Agatha Christie. She's great, right? Unironically she is, but what peeves me is when books and movies nod their head a little too much at her, especially when they make her into a character in their fictitious story. I just don't like it. Sure the movie is about a murder happening in her play, but it just doesn't sit right that they also made her into a fictional character. Anyways aside my peeve, it's a fine murder mystery. Enjoyable detective and his assistant. Enjoyable red herrings. It was fine. If you like murder mysteries, I think this one is cozy enough to enjoy.

Glass Onion: Knives Out has made the perfect stereotypical detective we all desire, and I am all here for it. Knives Out was about mean rich people, and Glass Onion follows this trend with stupid rich people. Personally, I never find myself very compelled when a movie is about rich people, so I didn't really care about the characters in this film- at all. Didn't hate them, didn't love them. Just felt apathetic. The movie itself did have some funny parts, but didn't care about the MacGuffin which was integral to the movie. I am excited to see more of our detective character if they make another movie though, all for that.

Sonic 2: Came into this movie for a good time. Wasn't a huge fan of Sonic, so it wasn't that much of a fun time, as these movies usually need a big bias towards the characters to truly have a blast. I was more bored of this film than the first one. I DO like Tails though. Little guy.

Bullet Train: This movie tried really hard to be quirky, and quirky can be VERY difficult to pull off- I felt like this movie tried and failed at being quirky in an enjoyable way. One of the things I disliked about the film was how it would do something, and then continue to tell the audience what is happening or what happened, when we already knew what happened.

Jurassic World Dominion: Also came into this movie for a good time- mostly in the form of watching dinosaurs. 1/10, not enough dinosaurs, also Steve Jobs was the main villain. It could've been a 10/10 if it was shorter and had more dinosaurs.

Turning Red: For some reason, Turning Red didn't make the cut for a theatrical release, yet Lightyear did. My guess is that Turning Red was too spicy, while Lightyear was a very safe movie to release. I loved the colors, the bouncy animation. I'm on the fence if I liked the story itself. When I first watched it, I loved it. Now, just not sure.

Lightyear: This is not the film Andy watched as a kid.

The Banshees of Inerishin: The movie starts off with our main conflict: a man wants his ex-friend to stop talking to him. One of those movies you can think about for a bit. It's simple, it takes place on one island, yet it has some deep conflict with a plot that seems to be about moving forward vs. trying to regain what you used to have. Not a summer blockbuster, but worth the watch if you want to see a guy chop his fingers off.

Chip n' Dale Rescue Rangers: This list is really disorganized!! OK. This film wasn't too bad, but it felt like they didn't say some things they could've said for the plot. As in, I thought the CGi was going to be a big plotpoint, but it wasn't. There were just a lot of things that could've been done but didn't. I don't know. It was okay, but not that great. The fake 2D animation was highly noticeable- did not capture that Who Framed Roger Rabbit look because it was cell shaded CGi.

The Sea Beast: Finally a movie about giant sea beasts! The first act was good- mostly because of the action. The second and last were long, and I think it was because the action peetered out as they showed a very long scene with the two characters bonding on top of the giant red sea beast. It was admirable for it to tackle something as big (like the sea beasts) as colonialism. I think the movie said that the beasts and humans kept to themselves as the solution in the end? They overthrew the tyrannical human king and stopped exploring forever. There's going to be a sequel I hear- I think the only reason why the "they both kept to themselves" solution didn't sit right with me was because it meant to me that the sea beasts and humans would never interact again.

Wendell and Wild: This was a film I was so very excited for. Jordan Peele and Henry Selick are a dreamteam, and the trailers made the movie seem so cool. Sadly, the film was a terrible mess. The only good things were its handle of representation, its animation, and cool soundtrack. Story was absolutely awful, the characters were a mess, the voice acting sometimes felt flat or quiet (or is that just me??) They had a LOT of things they tried to do in the plot and characters, when they really should've focussed on a few things. It was really disappointing. I really wanted it to be the best movie of 2022.

Guillermo Del Toros' Pinocchio: Pinocchio movies came out this year, but only this one is worth the watch. Pretty stop motion and character design, they do some new things with the Pinocchio storyline (mortality), making Pinocchio probably the best he's been. This movie has some musical numbers, but not a whole lot? It didn't feel like a lot, for a musical. Sebastian Cricket is supposed to be Pinocchio's conscience, but he's separated from the wooden boy pretty early on. Not a perfect movie, but probably the best Pinocchio movie lately.

Disenchanted: I like to think this movie could've been great if it were made by a loving team, and not a hallmark movie director. This movie had no magic from the original. It was clearly a nostalgia grab without regard to its predecessor. It wasn't fun to watch. Just really sad. Disenchanting, even.

Avatar: The Way of Water: It didn't feel like a different alien planet. None of it felt like an alien planet. It felt like they got a lot of inspiration from Native tribes they might have or might have not done any research on or consent to use. I really don't know the production, so I cannot assume. When I watch sci-fi about aliens, I usually want to see something different, something otherworldly. This movie had space whales, and that's not new. Storywise... the guy left his tribe... because he was being hunted down by the reincarnation of the original movie's villain... and he goes to another tribe... and endangers them... Eh?
The Bad Guys: This movie's animation was absolutely delicious. Dreamworks knows what people want. It was so very stylish. Story wasn't that great. It was sloppy. The wolf was handsome. :-)

Puss n' Boots The Last Wish: I REALLY want to see this movie again. Better than The Bad Guys, it has a surprising story and an accurate depiction of fear. It includes a genuine, no-good villain who had no empathetic points. Because villains nowadays always include some feature to empathize with, seeing a villain that was just evil for the sake of evil was very refreshing. This movie was also pretty dark, which surprised me at first, before I remembered the first Shrek movies were edgy. Also yes the animation was very good.

Minions The Rise of Gru: It was OK... not as bad as Minions.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On: You should watch this documentary. It was very chill, very sweet and sad at times. I'm biased towards indie animation.

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent: Nicholas Cage plays himself. A very cheesy film. Some may enjoy it. Some may not. Didn't enjoy it personally, but it was great that they validated how perfect Paddington 2 is.

Rise of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Yummy animation. Awesome turtle combat. For a TV movie, this was a fun time.

Matilda the Musical: Does a movie based on a musical based on a book count? The music was great, I really liked it, as well as the visuals during the musical segments.

Lost a lot of steam by the end of this (did I even review all the movies we saw, I don't know...). I can be very critical towards movies... But trust me I love movies!!!!!!

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